You will have days where you feel better, and you will have days where you want to die. Both are okay, There is no magical cure. You just need to close your eyes, and trust that the waves will pass, and soon you’ll be able to breathe again
The worst part about anything that’s self destructive is that it’s so intimate. You become so close with your addictions and illnesses that leaving them behind is like killing the part of yourself that taught you how to survive.